Nicole Fevrier-Davis

The Power of Thought - NARA - 534178 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Somewhere deep down inside each of us is a place that knows right from wrong, ignorance from enlightenment, truth from lies and the toxic from the non-toxic.  We can even test it with our bodies as a muscle test if our minds are temporarily disabled or selectively conscious.  Our bodies will always reflect our beliefs and truths but we have a decidedly better outcome if we consciously create those beliefs and allow them to become our personal truths rather than allowing our realities to be created by a seemingly arbitrary series of bad thought habits or old audio tapes from childhood.  This is why it is extremely important to continually re-assess not only what it is we are eating and drinking and doing but what we are thinking too.

I recently caught myself thinking a negative thought about my being clumsy (decidedly not true if you teach group fitness like I do, coordination is everything).  It happened so quickly that I almost missed it I almost allowed the thought to stay in my consciousness.  Once I became aware and recognized the lie I had been repeating to myself since childhood I said, “Cancel… Cancel this thought” to myself.  I closed my eyes and visualized the original sentence burning into ashes, mere ashes with no power, force or substance.  I repeated something more supportive and positive and immediately felt less anxious about it. 

Every thought we have can either sustain and serve us or break us down, whittling away our self-esteem, under cutting our most precious dreams and denying us the manifestation of our ultimate existence.  Every time we choose the negative thought it is as though we are choosing a carcinogen over the pure healthier forms of thought.  Our minds can be our strongest allies creating optimal conditions for success.  Athletes and performers of all kinds have known this for centuries.  If we carefully visualize ourselves accomplishing our goals, losing weight, creating peaceful solutions and enjoying a healthy happy life our bodies will automatically begin finding the right circumstances, people and elements to make that happen.  Start thinking how practice can make perfect and focus on one goal at a time.

Try to not allow yourself the bad habit of being seduced into negative programming via entertainment.  If you want yourself and your children to be positive problem solving adults in a peaceful world don’t waste hours playing war games online with them.  Just think of your first impression when someone cuts you off on the highway or you’ve had a bad day.  What is your first impression of how to solve the problem?  Do you see yourself taking aim with a firearm at the offensive person, similar to how you might wipe out an enemy online? Or are you centered and thinking about how to avoid or recreate the situation the next time?  Now try to imagine what your child might be thinking the next time they have a bad day.  I once knew a man who spent hours on an online war game, often he would be consumed from the moment he came home from work until one or two o’clock in the morning.  He neglected his wife, his children and almost lost his business.  His every thought was about conflict, which created conflict in his relationships ultimately ending his marriage.  

He had plenty of time to practice conflict how much time did he spend working on communication skills, peaceful problem solving, accomplishing a personal or family goal?  I doubt there was any time spent on those efforts.

            It takes a bit of courage to acknowledge that a bad habit even a thought habit is not supporting us.  Doing what we have always done is comforting and effortless introducing a new thought pattern takes a conscious, willing mind and some work.  We may feel a little insecure about letting go of a thought habit initially.  Our minds may struggle to find something else to put in its place but if we choose a positive thought first before we commit to ridding ourselves of a bad one, it will be easier to send our focus and energy into it.  Now I ask my family for 3 ways to handle negative thought patterns and find replacements for them.  This works on a couple of levels: first it diffuses the negative energy, second it makes the problem more of a game instead of an anxiety-ridden idea and third solutions and new more positive thoughts actually materialize.  Try different methods, perhaps listening to a positive affirmation CD or write down what you really want to think and refer to it often.  Taking the time to do this now will not only help you but your entire family will benefit too.

You can e-mail Nicole Fevrier-Davis about your own mind/body questions at Nicole@StellarWellnessServices.com

I wrote this a few years ago when I was under a lot of pressure to market my new workbook Be a Body Psychic.  When I re-read it I realized the message is still true and it reminded me to continue this practice when my life seems out of control….enjoy!

This weekend will be my first booth rental at an expo.  This is for the Whole Health Expo in Northampton Massachusetts.  I like this one a lot.  I had been invited to speak at the Whole Health Expo last year when I didn’t have a book.  I really enjoyed the energy of the group.  The new experience of having a booth (not to mention a whole plethora of other responsibilities to go with it) has made me rethink my approach to stress. 

 Long before I had a family and children I would run from job to job (I was a freelance stylist for t.v.)my producers would say “God your great under pressure Nicole”.  I loved the challenge of getting the job done quickly and with the utmost style and taste, the less time I had the better I was it seemed.  I loved surprising my co-workers with my ingenuity. 

O.K. fast forward to today a house and three kids later.  I find myself asking “Why didn’t I plan this better?”,  “Where did the time go?”.  It probably didn’t help that every single member of my family had a vicious stomach virus for the seven days prior to the Whole Health Expo event.  But I’m finding that all those tricks I used to make a good impression when I was freelancing don’t exactly work now that I have additional responsibilities. 

I found myself trying not to panick, trying not to focus on what I hadn’t done yet.  I began repeating a mantra to myself as I drove to pick up a hand truck and a publisher program.  I remembered learning it from my first Reiki Master.  I took a deep breath and said “I am one with God’s flow” over and over again.  Suddenly all the red lights I was running into turned green.  A school bus pulled out in front of me and I thought my timeline was shot.  I kept repeating “I am one with God’s flow, I am one with God’s flow..” the bus miraculously turned off onto another road.  I arrived at my destination and found every one of my items in minutes and soon found my self on the road headed home. The rest of my preparations were accomplished with some minor set backs but the real message I was getting was that I need not handle all of life’s stresses and challenges as though they were emergencies.

 As I pondered this thought my body relaxed slightly and I found myself stretching my neck and breathing more deeply into my abdomen.  I was unaware of the tightness my body was experiencing as a result of my frenetic “get it done now” pace.  I remember thinking that these were the real spiritual tests.  Those moments in life that seem to test your last nerve and threaten to sabotage your health and body at the same time.  How we handle it is up to us, we can buy into the illusion of panick or we can learn how to manage our responses to it in the moment.

 Find what releases stress for you and your body in this moment.  Try slow upper body stretches or neck stretches.  Play soft background music as you light a candle or if none of this is possible for you in this moment try a mantra.  Sounding out “Om”, “Peace” or “Serenity” in your mind can keep you focused on what you need rather than what you want. 

 Let me know what you do to release stress, or what was the most stressful time of your life? BTW if you would to purchase a copy of Be a Body Psychic with accompanying meditation CD you can e-mail me Nicole@StellarWellnessServices.com

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Successful Resolutions

Thinking about your New Year’s resolutions?  It’s a hopeful time of year and we arrive at our own resolutions with great energy and expectations. However, we can become discouraged and fail over time. Here are 10 ways to ensure you have successful new beginnings in 2012.

1- Wait for a better time if you have to. Don’t begin anything new if you are experiencing deep emotional distress like divorce, death in the family, your moving or any other major life changes.  Making changes no matter how positive is stressful to your body and mind adding those life-altering changes to the higher expectations you set for yourself may be a recipe for disaster.

2- Don’t set your goals too high.  Create a “Success Map” with a calendar.  Write how much weight you want to lose or how many minutes of meditation or whatever your goal is on the top of each month. For instance, if you want to lose 10 pounds over the course of 3 months, write at the top of each month in bold letters LOSE 3.5 POUNDS.  Then fill your calendar with specific times you will be able to work on your goals.

3- Allow yourself time to create a habit.  Studies show that it takes about 3 weeks to create a new habit and stick to it.  Don’t shift to a negative habit like taking fat burning supplements.  Those supplements fool your metabolism and when you stop taking them the weight will come right back.

4- Allow yourself time to accomplish your goals.  If you’ve scheduled a one hour workout 4 or 5 times a week and you arrive 30 minutes late you probably won’t accomplish your goal at the end of the month.  Stay committed if you want to see real results.  A client asked me what was the most important thing to remember when trying to lose weight I said “committment, consistency and intensity”.  You can’t work out once a week and hope to lose weight, similarly you can’t stop smoking every so often and hope to never smoke again.

5-Stack your deck.  Surround yourself with people, friends and colleagues who share similar goals.  If you want to quit smoking or drinking it’s probably not a good idea to hang out with those who do.  I used to teach at one health club that initiated a “buddy program” because studies show that people were more likely to stick to a workout regime if someone else was expecting them to show up.

6- Have a back up plan.  If for some reason you can’t get to your meditation or workout you want to make sure you have an alternative plan. If you wanted to take a circuit training class and it was cancelled decide in advance that you will get on the elliptical trainer instead.

7- Keep a log or journal of your progress.  This is really helpful for most people because it’s gratifying to see the consistency of your efforts.

8- Plan incentives along the way.  If you’ve worked out 4 times this week or been smoke free, why not plan a massage at the end of the week.

9- Choose to focus on one goal at a time.  I was teaching at a spa when I met a woman who went on a juice fast, quit smoking and was trying to workout at the same time.  Her body went into shock and she was incredibly sick as her body totally detoxed over the course of her 5 day spa visit.  Not very enjoyable.

10- Stay positive.  Even when it seems like nothing is happening acknowledge your efforts any way and thank yourself for making the effort to be a better you.  It’s usually at those low times that you are about to make a real jump in progress.

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Every year around this time I, like most people, are reminded of so many miracles. The many ways we feel and experience the wonder of life, the spirit of simply being alive gently unfolds as we allow ourselves to melt into the awe of the season.  Deeply engrained in my psyche and memory are the snowy evenings my sisters and I spent circled around our Christmas tree trying to learn all the words to every Christmas song.  Albums (they were the things that came before tapes or CDs) were strewn across our living room floor so my sisters could copy the lyrics onto papers that were easier to carry around.  Notes were diligently recorded and memorized for the eventual sing along when we carolled around our neighborhood.  I remember those nights as we walked from house to house singing with our whole hearts.  We greeted our neighbors and watched their surprised faces, some with tears expressing such gratitude for such a simple thing.  We loved doing it, singing for people, my sisters and I.

Now many years later I realize a part of why I enjoyed it so much.  Singing those songs evoked so much more in me than learning how to hit the perfect pitch or the right way to harmonize.  It was magical what those songs did for me.  They allowed me to express things I personally had no words for (I was very young when I started only about 6 years old).  The songs spoke of miracles of a different era that I needed to believe in, moments in time that were just as special and memorable as my experiences as a 6-year-old.  Singing those songs reminded me that I wasn’t the only one who felt the amazing grace of this time of year.  That indeed men and women much wiser than myself saw and felt the awe of Christmas as I had, not only felt it but was some how blessed with the ability to put it into notes and words!

The notes themselves put me into a trance of peaceful reflection.  I always felt a place within my-self somewhere between my stomach and heart that warmed and pulsated after a few serenading walks.  After about an hour of this constant singing and harmonizing the heat would spread up through my heart and into my mind.  There would be a point when I too would be filled with tears sharing the moment with my neighbors.  “Silent night, Holy night…” I sang, I could feel the blood rush to my face and heard my own voice crack as I gasped and gulped the air then returned to the next line my voice wavering as tears welled up in my eyes.  “Are you alright?” my sister whispered.  “Yeah” I said taking a deep breath and speeding up my pace to keep up with the others.  Something was happening to me, I couldn’t explain it. I couldn’t even begin to describe the unbelievable sense of love that washed over me it was all-consuming, like stepping into a waterfall of light.

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What traditions or activities bring you close to your own spirit or God?  What moves you to happy uncontrollable tears?

Let me know at Nicole@StellarWellnessServices.com